Maybe your backyard isn’t as relaxing as it used to be, maybe your bed just doesn’t give your mind peace like it usually does, and maybe the couch or recliner just isn’t doing it for you either. Maybe, just maybe, those stress relief strategies that you usually do aren’t helping like they usually do. You try to scroll on your phone, you try to play a show or movie, maybe even some music, or a video game, but you’re still feeling tense after a hard day of work, school, or whatever it is. Sure, the body might want to relax; it’s tired, but not the brain no, not at all.
So, it’s still listing tasks, replaying conversations, remembering bills, checking tomorrow’s schedule, and mentally pointing at the laundry like, “So, are you just going to leave that there?” Well, anything you see, it bothers you; it’s like you just can’t shut down the brain, so you can actually relax.
And that’s the thing about decompressing: it doesn’t always get blocked by some huge life crisis. Sure, it can, but in everyday life, when nothing bad is happening, it can still get blocked. Usually, a lot of the time, it gets blocked by all the tiny stuff that keeps demanding attention after the day is supposedly over. But what can you do so this can work?
Well, the Day Doesn’t Actually End
A lot of people don’t get a real end to the day, because work ends and then homework begins, parenting begins, caregiving begins, errands begin, dinner begins, cleaning begins, answering people begins, and the laptop may be closed, but now there’s a different kind of demand standing there asking what’s for dinner. You have this to do, that to do, this and that, and so much before you can fall asleep.
But that makes decompressing difficult because there’s no actual landing, there’s just a transfer of responsibility, like the brain has finished one shift and immediately clocked into another one with worse lighting, more crumbs, and fewer polite emails. And okay, life has responsibilities, obviously, so nobody’s pretending a person can throw their phone into a drawer, ignore the household, and float away, just isn’t all that possible for your average person.
Now, it really varies for people, but some people will change their clothes when they get home. So if you were in a suit or work uniform all day, you change to athleisure, get some stuff done, and then when it’s time for your nighttime routine, you switch to pajamas. Sure, that’s a lot of loads of laundry, but for some people, that physical change helps the mind transition, too.
But Comfort Habits Can Still Keep You Switched On
Believe it or not, some wind-down habits look relaxing, but they don’t always create actual decompression. A person can sit with a show, snacks, a drink, music, a product, a routine, or whatever little comfort item has been chosen for the night, and still feel the mind buzzing underneath everything. It just happens sometimes.
That doesn’t mean those things are bad, because adults are allowed to have their little comforts, but it really just depends on what you’re doing. Like if you’re playing video games, sure, it’s fun and comfortable, but if it’s intense (like a hard game or a horror game), well, your heart rate is still going to be high. The same goes for listening to true crime podcasts, or watching scary movies, or seeing ragebait content on TikTok. Those will not, and they cannot relax you.
So you need comfort habits that will actually relax you and decompress you when you need to decompress, like after word for example. Some adults buy vape pods, and they’ll use them as their method of getting into a more relaxing routine. Some people will do aroma therapy, take a bath, shower, maybe sit in a sauna if they have one, a pool if they have one, things like that, and they can work.
Is Your House Constantly Demanding Attention?
Well, for some people, this could very well strike a chord here. But a messy space can make decompression harder, not because every home needs to look perfect, but because absolutely nobody needs to live inside a showroom. But the issue is more that some kinds of mess keep poking at the brain, especially the visible piles that look less like normal life and more like a to-do list with objects. But again, it just depends on the person, because some people can deal with visual clutter, like toys being all over the floor, or a stack of dirty dishes, but not everyone can tolerate that.
But a person may be trying to sit down, but the surroundings are basically whispering, “You forgot me,” every five seconds, and so they sit, see a new chore, get up, and the thing repeats until it’s time to go to bed. While no, the answer doesn’t have to be a deep clean every night, because people are tired and nobody needs to end the day by becoming their own unpaid cleaning crew (and a lot of moms go through this sadly). It can be one small reset zone to get the house a little more in order, like clearing the chair that always collects stuff, putting the visible pile into a basket, or making one corner calm enough to sit in.
Some People Forget they’re Allowed to Need Space
Well, some people are so used to being useful that decompression feels almost uncomfortable. They don’t know what to do when nobody needs them for a minute, so they reach for a task, check something, start solving something that could’ve waited, or look around for a problem because being still feels weirdly exposed. Honestly, a lot of moms are guilty of this, since they’re constantly needed.
But yeah, that’s what happens when life trains someone to stay alert all the time, especially if they’re always the one noticing what needs doing, remembering what’s next, carrying the mental list, and keeping everyone else’s day from falling apart, well, things like that. And so proper decompression might feel awkward at first, and yeah, the brain may start offering random chores, or your brain makes you think back on things you don’t want to think back on. But you need to try and fight this, you need to just sit down, you need to just finally relax.